The New Point Break Trailer Hurts My Genitals (its that bad)
No Keanu Reeves. No Patrick Swayze. No element of surfing even though that's the very fucking definition of "point break." No problem. Let's just get these two fuckers that don't even remotely resemble them...
Pot Smokers Have Become The New Douchebags.
I know I'm going to take heat for this, but someone needs to say it. To preface, I take no issue with anyone who wants to delve into smoking pot. I don't care if...
And Now Its The Rape Scene In Game Of Thrones. Do PC Saps Ever...
Within one week's time in America (seriously consider this for a second, just one fucking week folks!):
Women's groups are mad at Game of Thrones for a rape scene and are boycotting and asking for...
Stop Crying About Louis C.K.’s SNL Skit. You Are an Asshole.
At some point society turned and everyone decided to spend more time being offended by shit than actually accomplishing shit. And hence is the case with Louis C.K. opening Saturday Night Live with a...
“Men’s Rights Activist Groups” Protesting Mad Max: You Are A Douchebag.
If every time you have a beer, it turns into you destroying your neighbor's potted plants while naked and while coddling a pet ferret, then join a group and get that shit solved. If...
Get Ready, Today People Are Pretending They Listened to BB King
And off to the races we go!
This morning B.B. King died. For most of us, this experience marked us saying "shit, was that dude still alive?" But no matter, that didn't stop the herds...
Stop Counting Your Goddamn Dog For Mother’s Day.
This Stupid New Trend Needs To Stop.
Mother's day happens once a year. And on that one day per year, you are supposed to at least call your mother and tell her thanks for allowing...
21 Ridiculously Funny Internet Images
These funny ass photos are sure to help you endure a crappy Monday.
Which one is your favorite?
...
The KC Royals Are Upsetting The Herd. And That’s Just Fine By Them.
The herd is upset. The Royals "feel good" story is suddenly a spinning spiral into a place beyond the wall, and apparently Winter, not Summer, is coming. Feel good stories tug at our heart...
These Heidi Klum Dirty Animated GIFS Will Make Your Friday.
This broad has still got it.
Sia used Klum as the star of her new music video for, "Fire Meets Gasoline" -- bringing in the big guns." And when I say "used," I mean it...
Pregnant Crossfitting is some Next Level Douche Shit For Sure.
I'm trying to wrap my tiny peanut sized brain around what's happening here, but I just can't. Crossfitters are about as douchey as it gets, but this takes the cake.
I assume this workout is...
Earth Day Is Cat Nip For Self Absorbed Assholes.
You care about the earth. How do I know? Because it's Earth Day and you are pounding out some amazing, earthathizing post on Facebook. At first it was the picture of the earth in...
Coachella Is For Assholes. (warning, graphic rant inside)
Coachella has quickly become the herpes of Facebook, it seems like once it flares up, it's really tough to bring it down. The first couple of years of the Coachella bullshit machine, I honestly...
Man Kills Armadillo, Injures Mother In Law. “Mobile Home,” & “Recliner” Involved. Seriously…
This happened in Georgia. I know, you are thinking, how the fuck could that possibly be? Well, it just is. A man shot and killed an armadillo, but the bullet ricohetted and injured his...
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Baltimore Douche Time
Dear Douchemaster,
I have been living in Baltimore for roughly 2 months, fresh off a job transfer from NYC. This place has made me start...
