Be on the lookout, particularly the first one since it is Winter.
The Polar Vortex
Polar Vortexes aren’t real, its just a name given to something most others of us know to be a cold front. Cold fronts happen during a season known as winter. Winter begins shortly after a bunch of hillbillies camp out in front of Best Buy for two days hoping to get a deal on a ginormous Plasma TV which will inevitably be used in a one bedroom apartment for NASCAR and Winter ends right around the time when a bunch of 18 and 19 year old girls get drunk and take off their tops in some smelly Mexican bar. That’s how this shit has always worked. Nothing has changed. If you live in Kansas City or Cleveland two months before the 19 year olds are shit wasted on water’d down tequila, you are probably cold as F’. That’s what happens when you live in Kansas, you freeze your F’ing balls off during winter. If you think Government legislation is going to change this, you are seriously a douchebag. The only way to change this is to get into your car and drive south about 20 hours until you think you possibly are in Cuba even though that’s technically impossible: then you’ve arrived.
Tornadoes
Does anyone remember the Tinman complaining about global warming? Nope, that’s because the Tinman knew when he met Dorothy that people who live in Kansas or Oklahoma get tornados. That’s why the Tinman chose not to live in Kansas. And maybe even why he wore Tin, I have no idea really, but you get the point. In Oklahoma, during Spring, shit gets super real. It basically gets really windy and blows a lot of shit around. Cry on Facebook about emissions as much as you want, Helen Hunt is always at risk for getting hit by a flying cow.
Hurricanes
Can you douchebags figure out which direction you are going to take this global warming shit and just stick with it for once?
You Douchebags bitch, but you do nothing about it.
Sure, global warming climate change scares the piss out of you. You really don’t want your children to grow up in a world with Winter and you bitch and moan that humans are causing the issues. But then you want to make sure you have a capable ride to get your kids to soccer practice in. What gives? Stop bitching.
