I’m not a big gym guy. One reason is because the bros have taken it over like herpes in the red light district of Bangkok. Here are 5 Bro’s I wish I could choke using my own shit.
You Use Two Machines At The Same Time
I love these bros. I go to get on an empty machine and then a big douche bro comes over, Dre Beats on, and says loudly “usin’ it bro.” Like why the fuck do you think it is OK to use two machines at the same time? Bro, Focus. Focus on one thing at a time, you don’t own the gym just because you shoot roids up your anus.
You Pull Your Socks Up To Your Knees
This looks like shit. And most of the time they look like dress socks. I don’t even get why this is a new bro thing at all?
You Lean On A Machine A Hot Chick Is Working Out On And Try Talking To Her
No chick can deny a pumped up bro leaning on her machine while she is trying to get in another set of sit ups. IN fact, that’s why they come to the gym, just waiting for a bro lion to stalk them out and trap them in a maze of iron and padding.
You Eat Your Douche Bar While Sitting On The Bench
I know, eggs just aren’t enough to fill your protein voids created from sitting on bench bro presses for hours at a time listening to music on your headphones, so of course you need some man made created protein bar and you need it NOW. I’ve seen a bro run out of protein, they literally melt away and are never seen again. Good on you bro for hanging in there and keeping up with all the muscle building.
You Always Ask Me “How Many More You Got Bro” When I Am On The Bro Press
When I finally get a bro press to work my chest out on, all the bros practically lose their shit because a bro press is basically a bench to them. Not bench press, but a bench, like from a park. Do you bros do any other exercises at all? WTF? I need some private time bro, some time to do my 3 lowly sets without you breathing on me while asking me “how many mo’ ya got?” I always just respond with “120.”
